Congratulations to Roy Halladay of the Toronto Blue Jays! Tonight, he managed to pitch his fourth consecutive complete game, a feat very few pitchers are capable of doing these days, and fewer actually accomplish. Oh yeah: he managed to lose the last three. So it got me to thinking: who was the last pitcher to throw three consecutive complete game losses, and who holds the all-time record?
The answer seems to be the same: from data available since 1958, only Mickey Lolich has had a longer consecutive complete-game loss streak, at 7, during the 1975 season while with Detroit. So, unsurprisingly, Halladay also has the second worst win percentage during a complete game streak.
It’s really too bad Halladay has been hung out to dry, but he’s always been a pitcher who has lacked an offense to really elevate him to a superstar level. He just happened to run into an untouchable Jon Lester, who pitched 8 innings for only the second time in his short but promising career.
Good job Clay Hensley, you just cemented your name in ignominy. Just last week, everything seemed peachy – a 1-3 record to go along with a miniscule 6.49 ERA and a whopping 2.2% ownership in fantasy leagues. Then you did the unthinkable – pitched halfway decent on Saturday. But taking a look at the pitching line doesn’t reveal the magnitude of your deeds.
4.2 IP 3 H 2 R 5 BB 3 K 1 HR
Pwned.
One home run. But not just any home run. Oh, you just happened to give up home run number 755 to some guy named Barry Bonds. Look, we all know it was inevitable. Someone was going to have to do it. I’m just glad it was you.
“He said, ‘That ball was way off the plate, and I said, ‘Yeah, man I thought you were going to take the pitch,’” Hensley said. “I thought he’s going to take this pitch or hit it out, and sure enough he hit it out.
Man, if I were a pitcher facing Bonds, I’d definitely adopt his thinking. I should give him a pitch he’s either not going to swing at or crush into the opposite field for his record-tying asterix-inducing 755th home run. That seems like a great game plan!
So while Hensley became the 445th pitcher to relinquish a home run to Bonds, at least he got something out of it. An autographed bat and a demotion to Triple-A Portland. The demotion wasn’t because of giving up the home run – but it should have been. It was because the Padres had to use seven relievers in the 12-inning game, depleting the bullpen of available arms.
Way to get through five innings, champ. Really helping out the team, pushing that pitch count all the way up to 75. Actually, that’s counting the intentional walk to Omar Vizquel – currently hitting a torrid .257 – so that puts you at a meager 71 pitches. Someone should check if that qualifies as a quality start.
But I’m sure Hensley is taking this all in stride – for it isn’t the first time he’s dealt with hardship. He was suspended for 15 games in April of 2005 for steroid use - as a minor leaguer. Shit, if you’re going to do something as insanely retarded as steroids, at least break the fucking home run record.
Just last week, Cal Ripken Jr. was officially inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame. There has never been a player on the ballot for the first time voted into the Hall unanimously, but Ripken appeared on 98.53% of the ballots in January.
Put me in there with the 1.47% who didn’t want him in. I assume those guys didn’t vote for Cal because they have something against voting in first-year eligible guys, with the possible exception of Ray Finocchiaro, who left out Nolan Ryan his first year on the ballot because he “lost too many games and wasn’t a clutch pitcher.” Ouch.
In the spirit of the snub-happy Finocciaro, I wouldn’t have voted for the Iron Man back in January.
I won’t waste any more time with it: Cal Ripken may very well be the most overrated baseball player of all time.
Now, Cal Ripken certainly wasn’t bad. He was probably one of the best shortstops to play the game. Nevertheless, he is overrated for three main reasons:
1. Setting the consecutive game record
This record is so irrelevant that I can’t even understand why people were counting down his pursuit of Lou Gehrig. If it was say, most consecutive games with a hit, a homer, a walk, a run, an anything, it would be noteworthy. Does anyone even know what the record is for most consecutive games with a homer is? That’s a lot more impressive. (It’s eight.)
But games played? Just showing up everyday is not enough to get into the Hall. Yeah, it’s kind of cool, but it doesn’t necessarily say anything about his skill as a ball player. If Tim Wakefield hadn’t missed a start in 15 years, you wouldn’t hear anyone making the case that he’s one of the best in the game. Because just showing up isn’t good enough. Still, fans voted the game in which Ripken broke Gehrig’s record as the most memorable moment in MLB history. Garbage.
Now I know you all read Vicks Dogs religiously, but I have a shocking announcement to make: yes, there are other websites out there. And we wouldn’t want to hog all the people to ourselves, cause that would just be selfish. So here are a few good reads to hold you over while we wait for the pit bulls to get ready for the next fight.
The Red Sox are seven games up on the Yankees, looking as though they have a legitimate chance to end the Evil Empire’s stranglehold on the AL East. Enough with the wild-card spots. It’s about damn time the Sox won a pennant. But looking at the current 25-man roster, I’d say this is the year the Sox not only win the AL East for the first time since 1995 (when they won with a meager 86-58 record and Albert Belle led the league with 50 steroid-aided HR) – but roll through Government Center with their seventh World Series trophy. This team has all the necessary components: a solid lineup, a great starting rotation, and a bullpen that pitches better than Kaz Tadano (in more ways than one).
Theo Epstein, the front office, and all of Red Sox Nation learned in 2004 that pitching wins championships.
After yesterday’s trade deadline acquisition it looked like a sure thing that the Sox would make like Chuck Finley’s wife and own on some pussies — here being the Yankees. Theo wisely looked past the regular season towards what really matters: ensuring post-season success. So he didn’t waste time or prospects acquiring an extra slugger that would shuffle lineups and playing time. While the Yankees traded pyromaniac and injury-in-the-waiting Scott Proctor for Wilson Betemit – as backup for A-Rod? To play first? I think I just choked. Oh wait, no, that was the Yankees – Theo fucking traded for a bullpen stud in Eric Gagne.
Somehow the Sox hoodwinked the Rangers into giving them Gagne (this guy is even more Canuck than I thought) for a pitcher whose parents typoed the first letter of his name, and two prospects who won’t ever have productive major league careers. Man, remember the days of Chad Fox and the bullpen-by-committee? Yeah, I don’t. I was too blackout drunk the whole time. Now we have a ridiculous core of relievers. Our crappy ones are pretty good too. Mike Timlin, Kyle Synder, and Freddy Kreuger – I mean Julian Tavarez – are all above average middle relievers who can eat up innings or be thrown into mop up duty, and in the rare case that they are actually needed in a close game, well, hopefully they won’t blow it.
10:30 The dude: Garrett, a retired professional figure skater who claims he used to get all the female skaters. Good chance he’s bullshitting about that. Now is a skating coach for really little kids. Looked fairly jacked in the brief second they showed him without his shirt on.
10:31 Wow, the only sound bite from the first girl, Hannah, was “I want a guy who is able to pick me up.”
10:32 They actually wrote a really lame theme song for this show. Wow again. It is painfully bad and they decided to write out the words on the screen for some reason.
10:35 Garrett says he doesn’t like beer. It is becoming apparent why he needs this show to meet three women who are willing to speak to him for more than three minutes.
10:36 Haha, there is occasional voice-over commentary from a guy with a humorous Boston accent. Garrett made a big “error” and they buzzer-pause-and rewinded. There are graphic overlays of Hit and Error for when they think he is doing well or poorly. The absurdly heavy-handed editing is quickly taking this show south.
10:36 A couple comments from Don and Jerry. This would be much better if they were calling the play-by-play for the whole time.
10:37 They have scored a lot of errors for this guy so far. They’re being pretty harsh on him.
10:38 Another error! For saying that he doesn’t like long distance relationships. Then they give him a hit for saying his only goal in life is “making a lot of money.”
For the whole 2007 season, everyone has been talking Barry Bonds’ imminent hostile takeover of Hank Aaron’s rulership as Home Run King. Bud Selig has made public his problems with watching the historic 756th homer. Analysts are debating how baseball fans will react to the record being broken. Bob Ley just signed on for 1,000 more episodes of “Outside the Lines” about Bonds’ alleged steroid use.
But no one is paying attention to one of the most exciting record chases in baseball history: Curtis Granderson’s pursuit of the single-season triples record. How is no one talking about this!? The triple is the most exciting play in sports! (Coming in at a close second is downing-the-ball-to-run-out-the-clock in football.)
In 105 games, Granderson has hit 17 triples, nearly half way to Chief Wilson’s record of 36 set in 1912. George Brett and an average player unworthy of mention* are the only two players who have hit 20 in a season since 1979. Can you say that about any other single season stat in baseball? Maybe, but you’d have to spend a while looking it up. The triples record is highly likely to be the longest standing current single season record.
Granderson contemplates his next blog entry as
he heads for home.
Granderson has been hitting hack-n-hustles (as he calls them) at a torrid pace so far this season. “Playing in Comerica Park has been a huge advantage for Granderson, since he is too weak to hit the ball all the way to the fence but has no trouble reaching the deep gaps in the outfield,” Tigers manager Jim Leyland said, off the record, is the likely cause for Granderson’s historic season.
“I have really been creaming the ball this year, but it just won’t clear the fence,” Granderson said with a wink to the media late Tuesday night. “I’m being steered down the r’oid path, you might say.” Granderson would be immortalized as one of the game’s greatest should he become the H&H champion this season.
Our nation NEEDS Granderson to shatter the record this year to regain the excitement of the fans in the face of all the steroid controversy, just as McGwire and Sosa saved baseball from the post-strike daze in 1998. Fortunately, it should only be a matter of time before ESPN begins broadcasting every Granderson at bat as he approaches the record.
Keep on hustling, Curtis. Do it for baseball. Do it for America.
Fuck yea — the same team that lavished way too much money on Chan Ho Park strikes again! Right up against the trade deadline wall Theo Epstein completely ripped off Jon Daniels to get the former Cy Young winner. Gagne will set up for Jon Papelbon to further improve what was already the league’s best bullpen. The Red Sox merely dealt OF prospects David Murphy (didn’t have a spot on the future Sox with Ellsbury overshadowing him), Engel Beltre (does this guy actually exist?) and SP Kason Gabbard (a decent SP prospect, but really he wasn’t going to stick around in Boston).
All Sox fans can now look forward to Delcarmen in the 6th, Okajima in the 7th, Gagne in the 8th and Papelbon closing. Also, keep your eye out for another World Series trophy and me huffing spray paint — hey it’s a day to celebrate, I’m taking the day off from white out.
You’re not the manager of a Mariachi band,
you’re the Pope. Start acting like one.
Today, Pope Benedict XVI acknowledged that there is substantial scientific proof of Darwin’s theory of evolution.
Nice going, Ben. You just fucked over about a billion people. Maybe you thought it wasn’t a big deal to admit that humans descended from apes. But there’s just the small problem that you, I don’t know, toppled over the central dogma of your entire faith.
Adam and Eve? Nah.
Garden of Eden? Pshh.
Original Sin? Shrug.
If I wasn’t such a fervent practitioner of voodoo, I would be mad as hell right now. Except for this nutjob, everyone knows that people and animals share a common ancestry. But imagine that you are a priest who has lived a disciplined, celibate, and generally miserable fucking life in the hope that this whole Christianity thing pans out. Then one day, your temporal master says “meh” when asked whether the cornerstone tenets of your faith are actually true.
This is a bigger blunder than the time “NBA Cares” organizers scheduled Tim Hardaway to talk to inner-city youths about tolerance. If you’re a Catholic, Pope Benedict just deuced in your eyes, ears, nose, and mouth.
UPDATE: And, unless you’re from Boston, the Celtics are about to add a very significant amount of seminal fluid to all that shit on your face. K mother fucking G, bitches.
I have not had morning wood since the NBA lottery, which is a real problem. But out of nowhere, I had a wet dream last night picturing Kevin Garnett in a Celtics uniform, and now my dream is going to become a reality.
For months now, long-time buddies Danny Ainge and Kevin McHale have been discussing a trade involving Kevin Garnett. The initial talks started around the draft when Ainge was trying to trade the Celtics pick for a veteran; Minnesota was looking to acquire another pick. Rumor has it that both GMs agreed to a deal that would send Garnett to Boston but Garnett vetoed the trade. The trade involved Al Jefferson, the #5 pick and Theo Ratliff.
The Celtics eventually traded the #5 pick along with Delonte West and Wally Szczerbiak for Ray Allen. It was a great trade for the Celtics. The last thing they needed was more youth. They already had Al Jefferson, Tony Allen, Gerald Green, Leon Powe, Glen “Big Baby” Davis, Gabe Pruitt, Kendrick Perkins and Ryan Gomes. With Ray Allen they now have two of the elite scorers in the NBA. It will take pressure off other players who lack offensive skills and everyone should thrive.
Many fans are worried that the Celtics are going to struggle defensively. Ray Allen is known as a weak defender and Jefferson often looks lost. They have no shot blocking presence down low. This may be an issue, but getting Kevin Garnett would solve this problem. He is a force in the middle and would cause all players to think twice before driving the lane. With Tony Allen and Rondo (two very strong perimeter defenders), along with Garnett in the middle, the Celtics would go from a weak to a strong defensive team.
